The psyche is individual processes, properties and states that allow us to perceive, cognize and transform reality. Like any life system, the psyche suffers from a lack of "nutrition" and overload, leading to stress.
Therefore, it is necessary to constantly maintain a system of self-regulation and "self-purification" in order to adequately respond to new situations.
Gradually a bunch of unresolved issues accumulate that cause discomfort and anxiety. But we try to pay attention only to the most relevant or interesting ones, but we forget about the rest. You can compare it with a wall that is painted over again over old paint, because of which the top layer is falling off - there is no adhesion to the surface.
Remember! Wise nature gave us emotions to stimulate action: fear is needed in order to run, pleasure is in order to repeat this action. If you have a problem, you can feel sorry for yourself and complain, but only as an introduction to a practical solution.
We want
Emotions are still designed for the presence of other people - these are non-verbal signals. And alone there is no need to be so offended or sobbed.
The most serious decisions are made alone, you can endlessly ask everyone whether I should quit my job or not, but I will have to decide for myself.
For some reason, many coaches and psychologists suggest in times of crisis to turn their attention, jump with a parachute, save the homeless in order to get rid of their own worries. A little strange method, of course, is how to leave a dirty apartment for a visit, but then you have to come back.
Therefore, you need to go the way from what you do not want to what you want. You do not need to constantly discuss what makes you feel bad, you need to determine what makes you feel good, and accordingly allocate your own time correctly - this is the most valuable resource.
Is always! There is a specific reason for annoyance and anxiety, even when it seems that it is "not clear what", "just tired." Suppose you are annoyed by your mother-in-law, but you smile for years, admire, and then at home break down on your children and husband. Or you simply don’t have enough money for daily needs, but it’s “indecent” to talk about it. In our desires, there is nothing “dirty,” “shameful,” “ugly,” such as you cannot admit to yourself.
We are modeling
To "reboot" you need to simulate mental situations.
- "Close" unnecessary programs - familiar activities and relationships can become a "virus" that spends your energy, provokes a depressed mood. Any serious event requires preparation, it is necessary to step aside from current issues in order to closely examine the "abandoned corners" in the self.
- "Turn off" the food, relax - everything seems to be fine, work, family, weekends, but I want to escape from here. If you have a feeling that the end of the world is approaching and you have to burrow away from everyone, run away, physically distance yourself under any pretext for a couple of days. At a distance, all the defects in communication become noticeable, as in painting during repairs.
- Choose priority matters and files - the most exciting and pleasant feelings arise during the period of a choice before the event: when a woman chooses a dress for a wedding, an apartment for housewarming, a new position among several offers. So mentally act out the situation “what I want in this life” and write down some wishes, even the craziest ones. Then arrange as you reach and select the most desired and implemented. It is possible that it will become your new goal.
Concretize
Next, you need to go to practical actions and put in place the accumulated concepts and ideas about the environment. Try to "start over", "from Monday", "from scratch", but at the level of specific actions.
- Past - deal with the past, what upsets you the most, what I’d like to change, and what to get rid of forever. Do not categorically decompose into “bad” and “good”, do not “forget” and “throw away”. There is nothing "superfluous" in your life, every day you live makes you older and more experienced.
If you are haunted by previous grievances, try mentally playing a “lawsuit” or a script for a television show where two sides are speaking: you and your opponents. Try to look at the situation with impartiality, very rarely people offend others for the sake of entertainment, most likely they had rational reasons.
It is necessary to come to a compromise in the role of “judge”, if possible, talk to “enemies” about this topic, most often people are very happy about the opportunity to establish contacts. So you can "fix" and clear the past.
- Present - specifically write down your schedule, your classes for a month, put a “minus” or “plus” in front of each item, depending on the emotions that it causes. First of all, analyze the cons, try to determine the largest, the fattest, which literally infuriates, which you most often recall and complain to everyone in a row.
And think about what you can do about it: is it possible to remove it from life, or do you need it for the role of a “victim”? If you are really “smart” and “strong,” then you must understand that a stupid, grumpy mother-in-law or a jaunty boss will not disappear and certainly will not change her behavior for you.
And you do not have to change, but you are able to control your perception, looking under your feet, you can see either puddles or the reflection of stars. Or both together, which is quite reasonable.
- Future - Set a specific goal for about one year in advance and 3-4 goals for the coming month. For example, the goal: adding 10,000 subscribers to a group on social networks, tasks for a month: study the pages of 10 competitors and similar groups, update your own content, talk with a targetologist, find online courses on promotion in search engines.
The most difficult result of the year: to draw the proper conclusions and admit to ourselves what we have actually achieved. It is possible that nothing, but nobody will know about it, you can keep silent. Thus, you can endlessly start a diet, enroll in a gym, engage in creativity - no one will ask!
Learning
Learn vague, generalized desires to translate into a specific plan of action: “I want money” - you need to find a new job, improve skills, wait for the inheritance, win at the casino.
A very difficult stage - organically fit your decision into your familiar environmentthat is, publicly confessing your thoughts, you still have to do it. For example: I quit my job, I’ll cook home-made cakes to order, or buy a camera and become a wedding videographer. People will remind you of your plans and keep track of how they are progressing. As the saying goes, smart people will understand, but stupid ones envy.
Self-control and self-report - And so regularly, at first annoying, and then you will get used to how you get used to tonometers and medicines. It’s better to constantly watch yourself than to periodically complain "I'm dying," "I'm depressed."
By the way, about in 3-4 weeks, new stable connections are formed in the brain, if you diligently observe the training time, the body will begin to “ask” for the load, as well as with intellectual and creative exercises.
