Man and woman are two different worlds. Each of them has its own purpose. So that children can fully realize themselves and find happiness on earth, family education plays an important role. Obviously, the influence of mom and dad on the son will be different. We will understand what actions of women are especially destructive for the normal development of the boy.
You can not put pressure on the child
Today, most women strive to be strong with excessive responsibilities on their shoulders. Perhaps there are objective reasons for such behavior, but it is dangerous, first of all, by the risk of getting a non-initiative husband and an infantile son. The dominant mother is trying to control all areas of the boy, denying him the right to make decisions himself. Depending on the nature of the character, the child can actively resist or obey in fear.
Important! The matured son of an authoritarian mother will sit near her all her life, not knowing how, and fearing to change something or flee from the family.
Advice! In a child of any age, you need to see a person, not the property of mom or dad. The son is worthy of respect, understanding and has the right to his opinion and choice of life path.
You can not speak negatively about the boy’s father
Ideal parents practically do not exist. Everyone makes mistakes. Many women sin by humiliating a husband with their son or telling a child about which dad is bad. Any father is a role model for a boy. If the mother distorts the image of the pope, then the son will never grow up courageous and strong. In the case when the father shows his not the best qualities, the mother’s task is to maintain respect for the child in him, even if you have to step over his principles.
Important! In the presence of a boy, a woman is forbidden to discuss the negative actions of her husband with other people.
Advice! The son and father must have joint affairs. For example, going to the rink together, making or repairing something at home, reading a book, etc. There are plenty of options.
You can not ban emotions
Very often mothers forbid the boy to cry, to show their feelings. Constant phrases like “cry like a girl”, “you're a man,” “men don’t cry” help the child drive emotions far inward and lose the ability to express them further. Psychologists unanimously declare that boys should not be forbidden to cry. Suppression of experiences will inevitably lead to problems with physical, mental health, difficulties in communicating with other people.
Of course, if a little boy fell and burst into tears, you need to feel sorry for him and not pay much attention to the situation. Make it clear that this happens, and you need to get up and move on. And if everything went without tears, then be sure to praise the baby for courage and endurance.
Important! The mother’s goal is to teach the boy to identify, express and transform his emotions.
Do not restrict freedom of action
As a rule, boys grow more active and restless. Some hobbies and fun can shock mom. It must be remembered that a man is a doer. For the son to learn to act and make decisions, he must receive optimal freedom. No matter how scared mom is for a child, he needs to "fill his cones" in life. Freedom of action depends on the age of the child. Of course, the scope of what is permitted must be respected. It makes sense for mom to limit his son only in aspects that are extremely dangerous for his health and life. The rest is freedom of decision.
Advice! If the boy is too dynamic, it will be wise to direct this energy in a reasonable way. For example, give it to the sports section, where the coach is certainly a man.
Important! A wise mother with the age of her son gradually lets him go. This does not mean that her love has become less, but she is transformed into other forms of manifestation.
Cannot be patronized beyond measure
Hyperopeca is inherent in mothers passionately loving sons. Most often, this happens with women who gave birth late, or the only child. Such a mother seeks to protect the child from negativity, creates comfortable conditions, does everything for him, works hard with him, selects friends, circles, sections. A woman raises a son for herself, the one that is convenient for her. On the one hand, what’s wrong here? Beautiful, loving, caring mother. And on the other - complete ignorance of male psychology.
It is difficult for boys who have grown up under the pressure of mother’s love to create their own family and bear full responsibility for it. As a rule, such children become weak-willed, cramped, not having their own point of view. They will forever remain dependent on the opinion of their mother and, accordingly, will not find happiness.
Another extreme of overly patronized children is also possible - this is negativism, demonstrative disobedience. With age, they are able to get in touch with bad people, become addicted to alcohol, drugs.
Advice! According to age, mother needs to teach her son the necessary skills of independence.
You can not destroy his sexuality
The development of proper boy sexuality can be impaired in the following aspects:
- A joint dream with mom.
- Mother changing clothes with her son.
- Forms of affection and tenderness.
The boy needs abundant love from his mother. But the ways of its manifestation may be different. The first point is rather controversial. Psychologists and doctors have a different attitude to the joint sleep of mother and son. For example, the famous pediatrician E.O. Komarovsky believes that if all members of the family are satisfied with this situation, then sleep on health.
Psychologists are more categorical and indicate a critical age when a boy is supposed to sleep separately - 6-7 years. Another part recommends moving the child to his room after 2-3 years.
The second paragraph has a categorical ban. A son should not see his mother undressed.
The third point implies a ban on kisses on the lips. Other types of manifestations of love - hugs, stroking, kisses on the cheek, forehead - are only welcome.
Important! It should be remembered that the sexual distinctions between children and parents leave their imprints on education.
To enable the boy to grow up a real man, his mother needs to choose the right tactics of behavior. The prohibitions discussed above are only a small but important part of the provisions that must be observed by a woman who wants to see support, protection and reliability in her son.
