How often, during debate, do emotions get the better of your mind? Have you ever been ashamed of what you said to a person? The ancient Greeks claimed that succumbing to anger, you accustom yourself to anger. That is, anger is just a bad habit. The more often you give free rein to negative emotions, the more difficult it will be for you to restrain them in the future.
But the ancient Chinese came to the conclusion that anger affects the liver. Angry people most often suffer from liver diseases. By the way, statistics confirm this discovery of the Chinese.
In addition, rash actions affect family relationships so badly! How to learn to manage your emotions?
Many psychotherapists say that you need to train your own feelings right from infancy! They argue that the mother should be near the baby for as long as possible and approach him according to his every demand. She is obliged to protect the child from unrest so that he does not get used to the feeling of fear. Children are less prone to anger and irritability. They get used to all these feelings, and, becoming adults, forget about causeless happiness and unbridled joy.
What to do if you have already grown up from infancy and are so used to anger that you cannot do otherwise?
Is treatment necessary?
Many psychologists believe that every conflict needs to happen. A man should not accumulate anger towards himself. However, we all know that there are different ways to solve problems. A scream is the worst of them. There is no doubt that you should discuss the negative aspects of life with colleagues, family and friends, but you need to do this calmly. Your task is to get rid of the problem, and not throw out emotions.
Conflict Prevention
If we accept for truth that a person is used to conflict and emotionally reacts to any kind of stimuli just out of habit, then the logical question is: how to quit? Yes, it turns out smoking and alcohol are not the most powerful drugs yet ...
To prevent anger, you need to maintain health in your nervous system. Avoid overwork at work, stress and depression.
- Love your work
For many, this will seem strange and impossible. We used to hate work. This is some kind of stereotype. Resign yourself at last, or leave. Why complain about life and continue to live it the same way? A hackneyed expression, but there will be no second, try to at least find something new.
If you can’t change your place, you need to come to terms. All the same, you are not going anywhere. For example, in Japan, in some companies, in the middle of the day, for several minutes they turn on the sounds of homeric laughter in order to cheer up employees and improve their quality of work. You can try, although most of our compatriots do not help even half the working day spent on Youtube!
- Sport
Just as conflict situations accustom us to the emotions of anger, so sport helps us get used to joy! Go in for the sport that you especially like: figure skating, tennis, volleyball or bowling. Over time, you will feel a surge of strength before training, and you will also get used to experiencing a joy that will overwhelm you with every small victory.
- Get rid of irritants to the maximum
It is important for each person that surrounds him. If you do not like the atmosphere in your office, try to make it more pleasant. Bring your favorite figurines, remove the picture, ask the authorities to rearrange the table in another place.
If you don’t like your apartment, but don’t have money to pay for repairs, find especially annoying items. Gluing old wallpapers for little money is not a problem. It is always possible to set a goal and find means to change the front door.
Take a closer look at yourself. Review your wardrobe. Why do you need uncomfortable shoes, a jacket that pricks and a bag of socks without a pair? Get rid of unpleasant things. Let there be little clothing, but only one that pleases the eye.
- Do your favorite things
Do your favorite things at least an hour a week - watch old comedies, read books, embroider a cross, make sweets. Enjoy life. Learn to rejoice. Again. As in childhood.
Medications for anger
If anger and irritability is a habit, then you have to quit and nothing else. Prevention is good, but our goal is to overcome negative emotions, completely eliminate them from our lives.
Now, you can perceive any conflicts with joy! After all, this is a test. How do they give up cigarettes, alcohol or drugs? They say no to their desires. And how can you say no if there is no conflict, but as a result of anger and irritability? And the harder (emotionally) the situation, the more you can be proud of yourself if you defeat emotions.
So, there are certain stop-ways that will help you step back and calm down in any situation.
- If you are at home, take a shower. Urgently. Yes, now is the time. An ice shower can help relieve stress quickly and forget about the conflict.
- You can prepare for a quarrel with your relatives in advance - collect bottles. No, not in order to make a "rose" and kick her son-villain. In a difficult hour, just grab a bottle and run to the street (or to another safe place) - the dishes are beating fortunately. Accumulate!
- During a quarrel, "disconnect" from the interlocutor. When you sleep, do you hear cars moving outside the window? You may not notice the sound of the TV when you are busy with other things. Count to 10. Absolutely abstract and dive into the score.
If a regular count does not help, multiply, add and subtract numbers in your mind. Any. Which only come to mind.
- If you can not listen to the interlocutor, then try to analyze the situation. Everyone considers himself right. Think about what makes your interlocutor swear? Perhaps you are really wrong? If this is not the case, try to understand whether the opponent is really so dumb or can he still find an excuse? What is he yelling for?
- Learn 22, 90 psalms or any prayer. Repeat it in a stressful situation to yourself.
All this will help to distract from the topic of the dispute and somewhat extinguish your emotions. Learn to be happy. This is real.
